Advanced Sex Manual by Matt Kaye
There’s only so much you can learn from “The Kama Sutra”.
It’s like a SUPER old book from like the 1960’s or something all about Sexual Conduct, Positions, etc.
Here’s some positions they don’t cover, that you should try alone or with a friend.
(Google ‘em for “how-to diagrams”, if you’re unfamiliar.)
The Cormorant
Pudding Crane
Pudding Crane (no arms)
Cinnamon Dump Truck
Plagiarize the Sophomore
Happy Dutchman
Fireman Surprise
The Filibuster
The Ping-Pong Ball Distance Shit
Wheelbarrow of Temptation
The Pleasure Sit
Gondola Pilot
The Ferris Wheel (9 people minimum)
The Flautist
Cat and Fork (counter-intuitively requires a spoon)
Shaving The Anchor
All Aboard My Face
Virginia Ham-athon 4000
The Rusty Space-Pod
Sex games?! Who doesn’t love ‘em? Throw on a crotchless Batman outfit and
suddenly the standard Sunday boning ain’t so standard. Try these…
The Cameroonian Barber and His Mistress
Bad Cowboy and 2-by-4
Sea Captain and Grumpy Mermaid
Godzilla and The Steveadore
Angry Shepherd and The Be-Wigged Wrestler
Cylon Robot Visits The Towel Closet Attendant
The Cobbler and the Relcacitrant Penny Loafer
Fireman Ted Cooks A Casserole
Hindenburg Vs. Duck
Pantaloon Handmaiden Loses Her Legos
Daryl Hall and John Oates
The Lost Mormon and The SEEMINGLY Helpful Cabdriver
Saxophone and Communion Wafer
A Raccoon and His Shoehorn
The Topsoil Salesman and the Well-Oiled Hitchhiker
Bassoon Instructor and Baked Potato
R2 D2 and the Gunnery Sergeant
Funnel Cake and Butcher
(incidentally most of the above work as band names if you’re looking for something to name
your crappy musical crapfest. Most of the rest work as Children’s book titles.)
